Caffeine Rush

So I'm a bit of a coffee addict. More specifically, an espresso addict. The way that Italians make it. These past few years, I've gotten myself hooked on not only the black gold, but also into the act of making this stuff. I mean, really making it.

You think you can make good coffee? Think again. You're nothing compared to some of these crazy coffee geeks on the internet. Theses guys dedicate their entire websites to discussing the blend of art and technique that goes into making a proper cup of joe. None of that Folder's crap. No perculated sludge that sits on a hotplate for hours on end waiting for some unsuspecting victim to end it's prolonged and miserable life in a stained caraff. None of that instant stuff. No Coffeemate. And certainly no Timmy Horton. That stuff is a crime against yourself, your friends, and humanity. Please don't drink that.

There are some things I've learned in making espresso and espresso-based drinks. Any real Italian barista would probably proclaim my stuff as 'aqua sporca'...but here are some tips that have helped my coffee-making improve from the days of the drip:

1. Get a good machine: That's my set up above. It's a basic, manual, pump-driven Saeco Aroma. Nothing fancy. The single boiler is good for the coffee but a bit small for steaming multiple drinks repeatedly. Regardless, it's reliable. And sturdy. Oh, and I replaced the pressurized portafilter with the original and basic one. More control over the shots....like making a ristretto.

2. Get a better grinder: Okay, here's the deal. Those spinning blade choppers that you picked up at the dollar store for 10 bucks? They don't work. Those things don't chop up the grinds fine enough for espresso and the heat from the blades foul up the beans. If you're forking over the bucks for a real espresso machine, then go the distance and get a burr grinder. A burr grinder crushes the beans in a kinder and gentler manner without the excessive heat. Be kind to your beans.

3. Grind before you drink: That's right. None of this 'grind before the morning of', or storing a weeks worth of grinds in the freezer. You don't store your beer in the freezer, do you? Or wine? Then why would you do it to your coffee beans? The dryness in the freezer will zap any goodness out of your beans before you can say 'I like Tim Hortons'. Grind right before you brew, and grind only as much as you need. Your beans will stay fresher this way. Unless, of course, you like drinking stale coffee. Or flat beer. Or Tim Hortons.

4. Tamp, tamp, tamp: You must tamp the grinds into your portafilter. More specifically, aim for 30lbs of pressure into the filter. How do I know when it's 30lbs? I've actually done this on a bathroom scale...and it works. Too much and the disk of grinds will be too dense and you'll stall your machine. Too little...and you're drinking acqua sporca.

5. Time your shots: If you've done it properly, a well made shot should fill into your double-shot glass between 20 to 25 seconds. I've got a timer set up on my machine that tells me when I mess up. The bad shots I give to my friend Casey to drink (kidding).

6. Look for the crema: A perfect shot of espresso should yield a thick brick red coloured foam on the surface. I mean thick. Try the sugar test by sprinkling some sugar on top of the shot. If the granules immediately sink, you've messed up. And you're drinking acqua sporca.

7. Drink away: Don't fart around after you've pulled your shot. Drink it. The fire on your couch can wait. The police officer knocking on your door can wait. The guy with the ski mask and baseball bat lurking upstairs can wait. You've spent all this effort into making good coffee...so don't let it go to waste. Espresso sits in a small glass, and the heat disappates quickly. The colder the coffee gets, the bitter it will taste. Kinda like acqua sporca.

8. Heat is your friend: Warm up your shot glasses and grouphead by pulling a few blank shots before you brew. Like tip #7, cold coffee is your mortal enemy.

9. Keep your front door open: In the end, this is what it's all about, isn't it? Having coffee with friends? The real benefit of owning an espresso machine and knowing how to make half decent coffee is for the social reasons. My coffee always tastes better when friends drop by unannounced on a Saturday morning to taste the recent offerings from Multatuli's, share the latest gossip, and prepare for a ride on our bikes.

There you go. Like I said, I'm not a barista, but these tips might help. Don't worry if you make acqua sporca. The key is to practice often. Even if you mess up, you can tell yourself that at least you're not drinking that stuff from Tim Hortons.